“Your problem is how you are going to spend this one and precious life you have been issued. Whether you’re going to spend it trying to look good and creating the illusion that you have power over circumstances, or whether you are going to taste it, enjoy it and find out the truth about who you are.” -Anne Lamott
I’ve re-written this entry countless times in my head, starting just to stall; an embarrassingly similar comparison to my manual driving skills at the current moment. But never the less, here I am 4,500 miles from all things known and comfortable. It wasn’t until a few weeks ago that I felt in the right headspace to comprehend the magnitude of my recent decisions leading me to L’Arche.
On a crisp Autumn evening as I sat in the second row of the open mic night held on the top floor of Cafe L’Arche (one of 5 restaurants in this small town of 2,300), I listened to the stories, songs, and poetry of the L’Arche and greater Callan community. Something moved within me as another house assistant spoke about split second decisions, and my mind went a million different directions. How is it that a small choice can change so much? And how might a fleeting thought catapult you across the world?
I sent the email after a conversation with my JVC NW housemate earlier last year. I sat in the trendy PNW coffee shop on a bone chilling winter day sipping my $4 soy chai tea (aka my weekly date with wifi #jvcsimpleliving) as I toggled between the L’Arche International website and my favorite feminist blogs. The thought caught me off guard, “Does L’Arche Ireland even exist?” I asked my housemate casually while swirling around my artfully decorated foam in my cup. She looked up at me with bright eyes, knowing my tea wasn’t the only thing being stirred. My mind took off, and next thing I knew I was emailing the general information contact for the Ireland communities.
The email was a long, rambling note written furiously and sent off without a second thought. Just a simple inquiry really, I didn’t even know if that was the right email, or if anyone would respond. A week went by, and my mind had moved on…until I received a response back. Something within me awakened, or rather something awakened my heart. Weeks went by like this, the possibility always in the back of my mind, but out of sight-a pipe dream I called it if anyone asked what was next for me. I always had a plan. And moving across the world to join another hippie dippie intentional living community was not part of said plans. Far from it. Actually the opposite. The practical person I am I thought maybe I would move back home for a while and find work, maybe I would stay up in Seattle if I really wanted to spread my wings. HA-well jokes on me because again here I am thousands of miles from my known reality. No matter how crazy, or unrealistic, or completely insane the idea of L’Arche international seemed, I just couldn’t shake the desire to explore the opportunity.
One thing led to another and I found myself interviewing, then being offered, then accepting the position in a matter of days. Let me repeat. I am a planner. Nowhere was moving to a foreign country indefinitely part of the plan. How did this happen?!? As my saint of a mother put it, the heart has a mind of its own. And man is the Holy Spirit good at speaking through the heart. I can only believe my pull to diverge from the known and familiar was the work of a greater calling, a calling I couldn’t keep from hearing anymore. I am grateful this powerful spirit was as stubborn as I am because I wasn’t giving up my plans without a fight. I convinced myself every time the feeling came up that it was just the travel bug, wanderlust for something different. Then the vivid life like dreams started happening, the wild thoughts crept in weekly, then daily as I continued to tell myself it was simply out of the question. Until one day, in an exhausted state of confusion, I let go just for a moment the expectations I had for my life after JVC. In those moments my eyes were opened to the possibilities of a life I could have never imagined just months before. There was no turning back-a sureness spread over me, and after months of trying to convince myself otherwise I felt at peace. At peace with the decision to move across the world and make life a whole lot more complicated.
And that brings us to where I sit today, almost 6 weeks into my time here. And it’s been a wild ride of a 6 weeks, and there will be more to come on that when the time is right, but for now I’ll leave the introduction as so. Seemingly untidy and unfinished, but well-intended.
*Bye now, bye, bye bye, bye
*direct quote from any Irish person ending a phone call. Every time. Cheers!
Adventure is out there 